Reflections on the First Sentence of My Novel

  Mama and Daddy spent their Sundays in silence, and if that don’t prove God exists, I don’t know what does.   I first wrote that sentence in undergrad, and it remains untouched as the first line of the novel I am starting to shop around. To this day, that line remains one of my…

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Defining CPTSD

One of my former students recently read my post on Emotional Flashbacks, accessible here, and asked me to differentiate between PTSD and CPTSD. I thought I would take this week to do so. Though not an official, DSM-5 diagnosis, Complex PTSD is becoming increasingly accepted in the psychiatric community. Pete Walker, the author of Complex…

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The Power of Music

Recently, a friend and fellow music enthusiast emailed me and asked if I would write a blog post about music that has helped me throughout my journey. I really liked the idea, so I want to take the time to do that now. Art is art, no matter the medium or sense with which it…

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Trigger Warnings

During one of my graduate school classes this summer, I faced a difficult question for the first time. Given the reading list for the course, I had no choice but to approach my professor and tell him about my CPTSD. Multiple books on the list were rife with triggers that could steal hours, days, or…

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Madness

Yesterday, a friend stumbled upon my website. I haven’t made much of an effort to broadcast my health struggles, and this friend was unaware of the recent discoveries in my life. He asked me what it was like living with mental illness. I must admit, I know he is going to read my response. That…

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Sleep and Nightmares

You get to know yourself really well at 3:00 in the morning. There’s something about that exact moment that is deader than the other hours of the night. 2:00 serves as the dregs of social nights. At 4:00 you can feel the still-hidden sun creeping slowly toward a new day. But at 3:00 you are…

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What Does An Emotional Flashback Feel Like?

One of the most common questions I receive about my CPTSD is what an emotional flashback feels like. It’s a question that, even after reading hundreds of people’s descriptions of them, I have yet to come across a good answer. Admittedly, each person’s flashbacks are unique, but I wanted to share my best description of…

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Why Limited Editions?

When one of my therapists suggested that I use art to benefit my brain health, I knew very little about the science behind his suggestion. What I did know was that I found it very hard to work creatively when my flashbacks flared up. My creative drive, much like my physical drive, evaporated. In many…

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