Welcome to the Artistry

I want you to understand who I am. I want you to understand why I am here. I want you to understand what I am doing. I want you to understand why it matters. 

Who I am:

I am a man with multiple brain dysfunctions. In 2017, my doctors suggested that I  was dealing with multiple separate neural issues: Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), Bipolar I Disorder, and Complex PTSD (CPTSD). The first I suffered through four diagnosed concussions, though I have probably experienced at least two more. The last you likely have never heard of before today. If so, you’re in good company. There are fewer than ten psychiatric hospitals in the country that even offer treatment for CPTSD. To clear the air, PTSD and CPTSD are not the same. The differences are substantially larger than you might suppose, and perhaps I will devote a post to explaining it in due time. For now, you just need to know that science tells me my brain does not and never will function correctly. I am a man who chooses to disagree.

Why I am here:

I am here to take back the things my health has stolen from me. In a therapy session recently, I made a list of those things. I remember only a few:

Friends          Memories          Passion

Family          Time          Safety

Happiness          Energy          Opportunities

As of now, I can also add my teaching job.

At least from the scholarly work I have read, the psych community seems to agree that recovery from CPTSD is a challenge of managing symptoms more than seeking a cure. In other words, I can strive to minimize my symptoms but hope for full recovery is slim. I have willfully chosen to disagree, and this page will be the chronicle of my success.

What I am doing:

You could say that I am here because my therapist suggested it…strongly. In some ways, you would be right. In one major way, though, you would be wrong. It would be very easy for me to write off this project as a therapeutic hoax, an attempt for my therapist to pass the burden of healing on to me. Fortunately, I welcome this opportunity.

In one of his late notebooks, Friedrich Nietzsche observed, “Wir haben die Kunst, damit wir nicht an der Wahrheit zugrunde gehen,” perhaps the best translation of which is, “We possess art lest we perish of the truth.” I am choosing to believe Nietsche. We have a common adage that the truth hurts, but for Nietsche, it kills. The truth, according to Nietsche, is ugly. My truth is ugly. Yet, art has the potential to save me.

Why it matters:

Mental illness in today’s world is skyrocketing. According to the statistical data from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (source) , 44.7 million or 18.3% of all adults in the United States experienced mental illness in 2016. Of those suffering from mental illness, only 43.1% received treatment of any kind.

It doesn’t take much brain power to realize that the world is in crisis mode. In 2018, we have already seen a plethora of mass shootings. In 2015, 8.6 percent of high school students reported that they made suicide attempts in the past 12 months (source). With approximately 15.1 million students in grades 9-12 of our public education system (2018), this percentage suggests that nearly 1.3 million American children attempted suicide in a single year. That number equates to over 3,500 suicide attempts per day. Worst of all, the problem remains largely unaddressed. The psychiatric community has posed many theories about culprits. Social media and smartphones are under critical fire. The stresses of today’s education system are in the spotlight. Broken households, overmedication, media sounding boards – the potential problems are over-identified, but few are suggesting solutions.

This project matters because I want to be part of the solution. This project matters because there are far more people contributing to the problem than fighting to make it better. This project matters because my fight for mental health is only a small drop in the societal sea. When asked what is wrong with the world today, G.K. Chesterton famously replied, “I am.” If everybody were to take Chesterton’s approach, the world would be nearly fixed tomorrow. Sadly, the battle is not so easy, but I am ready to fight mine.

Welcome to the Artistry.